Thursday, September 10, 2015

Response to the video "Dear Fat People"

Dear Nicole Arbour and other Fat-shamers:
I weigh 320 lbs. at 5”8. Yes, I know I am obese. Yes I am big. Yes; I know that the weight I am at is unhealthy. But you know what? I LOVE myself and my body anyway.  The reason I love myself is because of this: God loves me and crafted me with his bare hands (Psalm 139:15.)

I have NEVER been skinny. Even when I was little, I was chubby. Certain emotional issues and health issues have led to me being the size that I am. There are so many reasons a person could be obese, and guess what? It is NOT your place to judge someone and make the assumption that they are that way because, well, food.

 I was so hurt by the description of how you acted towards that family at the airport. The way how you described how grossed out by that kid and his parents you were screams shallowness.

I have already admitted that my weight is unhealthy. But you know what? I am taking steps to correct that; but you would never know that. Based on your behavior at the airport and in your “comedic” video, you would be too busy judging me to try and figure that out.

Fat-shaming does exist. The argument you made about fat people crying discrimination because they can't f fit in a door was lame. Bullying someone because of their appearance is a real thing. It has happened to me. It came in guys telling me things like, “you are ugly n fat.” Others whispering about how disgusting I was. If you can’t admit that it happens, you are either a liar or live under a rock.

As a child I dealt with the loss of a parent. I was shunned as a child and made fun of by peers for my appearance and other things. I hated myself. Later on, I developed depression and OCD. I would cut myself as a way to punish myself for not being good enough. I would eat to ease my stress. I handled my issues in an unhealthy way.

Yet, despite all this, God has been caring and looking out for me. He saw more in me than what I could see in myself. That is why I love myself and love others: because He first loved me. Jesus, despite my brokenness, hurt, and imperfections, LOVES me!  It is because of Him that I came to this point of loving myself and wanting to do more to take care of my body.

Let me make this clear: you cannot always judge a person’s health by their clothing size. And, no, plus-size does not ALWAYS mean “plus diabetes” or “plus heart disease", as you put it. There are so many plus size models and women who eat well and exercise. They are sizes 12-20 and are perfectly healthy. And, yes, bone structure and thickness can and does play a part in what size you are.

 At the end of my life, it will not matter if I was fit. My sole purpose in life is to honor and serve my God. My Lord and Savior cares more about my heart than my appearance.  I am to love others first, no matter what they may look like.

Nicole, I don’t understand why you said the things that you did. Truth is, what you said was not funny. Telling people “not to eat” is not funny. There are so many impressionable, hurting girls who already hate themselves enough. They don’t need to hear that garbage disguised as “comedy”.

 Talking about how disgusted you are with fat people will not encourage them to change. It actually has the opposite effect. The more you berate them, the more they see themselves as worthless. The worst thing you can do is call them "ugly" or "disgusting". For people dealing with emotional issues/disorders, those are the the last things they need to hear! In the end, those words are nothing more than verbal abuse-even if your intentions appear to be good.

Girls, you are beautiful no matter your size! Why? Because God made you and He loves you so much! He ADORES you. If you gave Him that chance, you could see that for yourself. Even if it seems that your heart is too broken, He can mend it. He can take your life and make it something beautiful.

To Nicole (and others like her) I don’t know what religion you are, or if you even claim to have one. I have to wonder if you  understand what love is. The bible describes love in this way: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. It is not proud, or boastful. Love does not behave rudely. It is not selfish. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not rejoice in evil, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things. Believes all things. Hopes all things. Love never fails….” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8.)

This is what love is; not the feeling. Love is action in a way that is gentle, kind, thoughtful, and honest. Christ displayed this love in all that he did. Let’s face it and be blunt about it: There was no love in your video. End of story. I hope and pray that you will learn what love actually is and that you will find Jesus. He loves you, too. He loves everyone despite the fact that we fail Him everyday. You never truly know what love is until you encounter His love and what He did for you.


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