Why I Don't Do "Sexy"

Sexy:  (adj) 1. Concerned predominately or excessively with sex; risqué.

2. Sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality.

3. Excitingly appealing; glamorous.

Victoria’s Secret. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Abercrombie and Fitch. American Apparel. Miss America, even.

We see these things and one word reverberates that describes it all:

Sexy.

This word is used to describe things that are glorifying sexuality. The word denotes an idea of being proud and revealing your body to the world. It describes one who walks around flaunting herself.

Here is my question: Is ‘sexy’ something the Christian woman should aspire to be?

People may try to use the excuse that, if God made them, shouldn’t they be proud in how they created them? We are, after all, “fearfully and wonderfully made.” What’s wrong with showing pride in that? Why not strut our stuff? Why not be proud of your assets?

Here are the reasons why we don’t embrace the Sexy mindset.

1.       We aren’t out to be obsessed with appearance.

In a world where people are coveting the life of the Kardashians, we have forgotten something.  Our hearts.

In the verses about modesty, it says that our main concern should not be on our appearance, but our hearts. To God, ‘gentle and quiet spirits’ are precious to Him. (1st Peter 3:4.) Gentle and quiet spirits are humble, kind, and see to the needs of others before self. How much different is that from the mindset people have today?

1st Timothy 2:9-10 says: “Likewise also that the women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…but with what is proper for women who profess Godliness-with good works.” (emp. Added.)

Philippians 2:3 says: “Do nothing of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others before yourselves.” (emp. Added.)

How much different would our society be if women focused serving God and others before how they look? Many women hate to go out without their makeup and hair done perfectly!

For thousands of years, women have gone to extreme measures to be beautiful. It is so easy for us to base our worth on our appearance. When we focus too much on how we look, less focus is put on God. Our appearance becomes an idol.

2.       We aren’t to “parade” ourselves.

If there is one quality that doesn’t fit in with the Christian lifestyle, it is Pride. Part of sexiness is parading your body or outfit around for the whole world to see. It is exuding a “Look at me!” attitude. We’ve all seen people like this. Not only does it not fit in with the idea of modesty, but it isn’t loving either. “Love does not parade itself. It is not filled with pride…” (1st Corinthians 13:4.)

This may be one of the main reasons for modesty. Modesty represents a quiet humility that God commands of us. (1 Peter 3:4.) If we are to be noticed for anything, the bible says, it should be for the good things that we do. Not our outfit or our body. Our clothes should allow our actions to speak louder.

3.       Our Bodies are Not Our Own.

Our bodies are the temple of the Living God. (1st Corinthians 6:19-20.) They are to be used as vessels for God’s glory. (Colossians 3:17.) “Sexy” puts the focus on us rather than God.  “Sexy” makes an idol of ourselves and the idea that we have to be perfect all the time. 

When our focus is on Him, we are set free from the idea that we have to please anyone but Him. We aren’t out to make other women jealous. We aren’t held to the idea that if men don’t find us attractive, we don’t have value. We aren’t held to pride in ourselves and our beauty. In the end, none of these things will bring true fulfillment like Christ can. All of these things will lose their luster and turn to dust.

4.       Sexy has one place. And one place only…

God made us to be attractive and beautiful. If there is any place where being sexy glorifies God, it is in the marriage bed. There, we are cherished by someone who loves us. One day, if it is meant to be, you will marry and meet the love of your life.

Sex is not dirty. Nor is it bad. The bible never says this, unless it is done in a way that goes against God’s word.

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”-Hebrews 13:4

The allure of the world is strong. It is normal to want to be desired. To an extent, that is okay when you have that longing in the confines of scripture. God made marriage to have those needs fulfilled. 

But you know, you ARE cherished by God, our heavenly Father! You were made by Him, and He loves you. There is no need to try to measure up or be like everyone else. There is no need to.