Why I Don't Do "Sexy"

Sexy:  (adj) 1. Concerned predominately or excessively with sex; risqué.

2. Sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality.

3. Excitingly appealing; glamorous.

Victoria’s Secret. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Abercrombie and Fitch. American Apparel. Miss America, even.

We see these things and one word reverberates that describes it all:

Sexy.

This word is used to describe things that are glorifying sexuality. The word denotes an idea of being proud and revealing your body to the world. It describes one who walks around flaunting herself.

Here is my question: Is ‘sexy’ something the Christian woman should aspire to be?

People may try to use the excuse that, if God made them, shouldn’t they be proud in how they created them? We are, after all, “fearfully and wonderfully made.” What’s wrong with showing pride in that? Why not strut our stuff? Why not be proud of your assets?

Here are the reasons why we don’t embrace the Sexy mindset.

1.       We aren’t out to be obsessed with appearance.

In a world where people are coveting the life of the Kardashians, we have forgotten something.  Our hearts.

In the verses about modesty, it says that our main concern should not be on our appearance, but our hearts. To God, ‘gentle and quiet spirits’ are precious to Him. (1st Peter 3:4.) Gentle and quiet spirits are humble, kind, and see to the needs of others before self. How much different is that from the mindset people have today?

1st Timothy 2:9-10 says: “Likewise also that the women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control…but with what is proper for women who profess Godliness-with good works.” (emp. Added.)

Philippians 2:3 says: “Do nothing of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others before yourselves.” (emp. Added.)

How much different would our society be if women focused serving God and others before how they look? Many women hate to go out without their makeup and hair done perfectly!

For thousands of years, women have gone to extreme measures to be beautiful. It is so easy for us to base our worth on our appearance. When we focus too much on how we look, less focus is put on God. Our appearance becomes an idol.

2.       We aren’t to “parade” ourselves.

If there is one quality that doesn’t fit in with the Christian lifestyle, it is Pride. Part of sexiness is parading your body or outfit around for the whole world to see. It is exuding a “Look at me!” attitude. We’ve all seen people like this. Not only does it not fit in with the idea of modesty, but it isn’t loving either. “Love does not parade itself. It is not filled with pride…” (1st Corinthians 13:4.)

This may be one of the main reasons for modesty. Modesty represents a quiet humility that God commands of us. (1 Peter 3:4.) If we are to be noticed for anything, the bible says, it should be for the good things that we do. Not our outfit or our body. Our clothes should allow our actions to speak louder.

3.       Our Bodies are Not Our Own.

Our bodies are the temple of the Living God. (1st Corinthians 6:19-20.) They are to be used as vessels for God’s glory. (Colossians 3:17.) “Sexy” puts the focus on us rather than God.  “Sexy” makes an idol of ourselves and the idea that we have to be perfect all the time. 

When our focus is on Him, we are set free from the idea that we have to please anyone but Him. We aren’t out to make other women jealous. We aren’t held to the idea that if men don’t find us attractive, we don’t have value. We aren’t held to pride in ourselves and our beauty. In the end, none of these things will bring true fulfillment like Christ can. All of these things will lose their luster and turn to dust.

4.       Sexy has one place. And one place only…

God made us to be attractive and beautiful. If there is any place where being sexy glorifies God, it is in the marriage bed. There, we are cherished by someone who loves us. One day, if it is meant to be, you will marry and meet the love of your life.

Sex is not dirty. Nor is it bad. The bible never says this, unless it is done in a way that goes against God’s word.

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”-Hebrews 13:4

The allure of the world is strong. It is normal to want to be desired. To an extent, that is okay when you have that longing in the confines of scripture. God made marriage to have those needs fulfilled. 

But you know, you ARE cherished by God, our heavenly Father! You were made by Him, and He loves you. There is no need to try to measure up or be like everyone else. There is no need to.

Simple Truths-More than just Kid Stuff

I have always loved cartoons,  animation, and stories for children. That is one thing that hasn’t changed about me. More than likely, it never will.  I hear people say all the time, “Oh, that movie was cute, but it is just for kids.”

The truth is, there are things like Disney movies that ring such simple truths. I think as adults, we often want to ignore them. We think there is nothing we can learn from them because we’ve “heard it all before”.

Adults are stubborn. I think we often write off these “cute movies” or books because we often don’t want to face reality. 

We don’t want to hear that “a little kindness goes a long way”. 

We don’t want to hear that “Love is putting others needs before your own.” 

We don’t want to hear that we must persevere and keep trying. We don't want to hear that when it is easier to give up. 

We don’t want to hear that we need to stand up for what we believe in, or what is right.

We often turn a blind eye and stay silent when others are hurting, abused, or in need. We tell ourselves to mind our own business.

We walk away from someone just because they aren’t giving us a thrill anymore. They aren’t making ME happy. (Note: I am not talking about abusive situations. Please, if you can help it, don't stay in an abusive situation.)

We stay silent because it’s easier than dealing with conflict.

We give up because it feels better to be comfortable than to grow.

Each one of the things above are things we tell ourselves every day. We try to do everything we can to avoid these situations.

As Christians, we have to stop avoiding them. Not only are these things “kid-movie worthy”, but they’re also biblical. Pride prevents us from being convicted.

Kindness and agape (self-sacrificial) love are commandments of God. (1st Corinthians 13:4-8, Ephesians 4:32.)

We are to speak up with the truth that will save the world. We are not to be ashamed. (Ephesians 4:15, Galatians 6:1, Matthew 28:19, Romans 1:16.)

We are to grow, examine our hearts, and be open to conviction. (2nd Corinthians 13:5, 1 John 1:9, 1 Tim. 4:15, 2 Peter 3:18.)

I am not saying that everyone should have to watch Disney movies or cartoons. I am saying that sometimes the “simplest truths” are the most important. And, the fact that they are first from God makes them all the more important.

Put On Your War Paint!!!!!

One of my sisters faced a difficult situation yesterday. You could see in her face that she was heartbroken.

One thing I remember Mom saying to her was, “When you wake up, put on your war paint!” 

She meant that, the next day, get up and do your makeup. Make your hair pretty. Despite whatever may be going on, it helps to keep taking care of yourself. It helps to keep doing what you need to do. Cry if you need to, get angry. Rest. But, keep moving forward, no matter what.

It made me think about the situation in our nation right now with the election. We are at a crossroads in our nation’s history. We are at a questionable time in Church history as well. There is no telling what is around the corner.

I know two things. First, God is still in charge. Second, as the Church we need to get up and work. We need to also get down on our knees and pray like we have never prayed before. As my Mom said to my sister, we need to get our war paint on, spiritually speaking.

Forget politics as they apply to secular issues for the moment (economics, healthcare, etc.). While I have opinions on those things, in the light of God’s word, they  don’t matter in the end.

 It doesn’t matter who is president. It doesn’t matter if we don’t care for our Government Officials. Our job, as Christians, is to obey the law of the land. We are to respect our leaders and the rules. We are to be in submission to them.  (Romans 13:1-7)

As Christians, our ultimate job is to spread the Gospel. Our purpose is to tell others about God. What the US doesn’t need right now is more Christians obsessed with politics. No. What the US needs is for the Church to be the Church.

We need to get our hands dirty. (Eph. 4:28, James 2:17.)

We need to Study God’s Word. (2nd Tim. 2:15, 2 Tim. 3:14-17.)

We need to preach the Gospel. (Matt. 28:19.)

We need to help the poor. We are the Church. The government is not. Stop trying to make it their job. (Luke 3:11, Luke 12:23, Matt. 25:35-40)

Visit, help, mentor, or even adopt those in foster care. (James 1:27.)

Visit the sick and lonely. (Matt. 25:35-40, 2nd Cor. 1:3-5.)

Love the abused and broken.  (2nd Cor. 1:3-5, Romans 12:15.)

Give unconditional love to all despite their sins or circumstances. (1 Cor. 13:4-7.)

Tell them of the healing and forgiveness that God can give. (2 Cor. 1:3-5.)

Get on our knees and pray for this nation and the world. (1 Tim. 2:1-4.)

This is putting on our war paint. This is how a Christian goes to battle. This is putting on the full armor of God. (Eph. 6:10-18.) Getting up and working and being an example changes things.

We can scream until we are blue in the face about the morals in this nation. The screaming isn’t working. 

We cannot make an impact unless we are what God has called us to be. We must be ready each moment for opportunities we receive. We must be ready to work. We must stop being afraid. 

This is what Christians need to be doing right now, no matter what happens this year. Now until Jesus comes back. It’s time to paint up for battle!