Okay, okay; I know that blogs on self
image and self worth have been done so many times, but
I thought up a side to it that I hadn't thought of to write down
before.
Just recently, I've been undertaking
the process of losing weight. I'm very proud to say that I've lost
over 50 lbs. I'm eating better in terms of the types of foods I eat
and the portions I am eating.
I've never lost this much before.
Normally, I'll make it to about 30, and then I'm unable to lose
anymore. Then, I get discouraged, eat more, and gain the weight back.
Meh.
I kind of realize now what the main
problem was.
Back then at the previous times I tried losing
weight, my self esteem was terrible. I really had almost no
confidence in myself. I looked in the mirror and hated myself inside
and out for the person I'd become.
Over the years, I had been told in so
many ways (subtly and unsubtly) that the only way for you to get the
motivation to lose weight was to hate and despise the way you looked.
I knew it was probably silly to think that way. Yet, because I didn't
have any other reason to take care of myself, I kind of thought at
the time that it was the only way.
My journey has been a long one. First,
was realizing that I have a God who created and loves me. Second,
fully realizing deep down to your heart, (not just knowing it-but
understanding it) that you are beautiful on the inside. Third, my
self-worth needs to come from the Lord. All of these things I have
written about before.
You see, at this point I've realized
something: when you love something, really love something, you're
more likely to go out of your way to take care of it. We go out of
our way to help loved ones; our siblings, husbands, boyfriends,
mothers, fathers, grandparents, our relationship with God, etc.
Why? Because we love them. What about
ourselves?
We MUST stop hating on our bodies. When
we learn to love and accept them, only then do I believe we can
really get the desire to take better care of it and maintain a
lifetime of health. Because, seriously-why would we take care of
something we don't really love and care about that much anyway?
Also, when you don't have a healthy
dose of self-love, other areas of your life suffer. Your
relationships suffer. You cause your loved ones to worry about you
and your health. You begin comparing yourself and hating other women
because they have something you don't. Your relationship with God
suffers because you're focused too much on self to worry about it.
My weight loss is now mostly because I
want to be a healthier me-not necessarily because I want to look
better. I want to treat myself well so God can use me better for His
purposes, and so I can do more for my loved ones. It'll be nice to
fit into some smaller sizes (I'm not going to lie about that) but my
mindset has changed dramatically in what my priorities are health
wise.
So, what I am basically saying is that
we must learn to love ourselves and when we do, you find that it's
easier to find the motivation to take better care of yourself.