Let it Go!

This past summer has been pretty stressful and crazy.  Stressful because I was feeling  anxiety about this upcoming semester. When you've had as much difficulty as I have had in school, it can be easy for your mind to start being uncertain.

Last semester didn't exactly turn out the way that I had planned. Granted, I have some good memories from last semester. Yet, there are some things that I did that I will never do again at school. Not bad things, but not realistic for me and what I am trying to achieve.

When I graduated high school, I knew I wanted to go to college, but I had no idea what in the world I was going to do. When I started off at a local tech school, and then later on at an online college, things did not go well. I had so much trouble with school and my classes, that I ended up convincing myself that I wasn't capable. I told myself that I would never go back, and that it wasn't worth it.

 Sometime after I left beauty school, confused about my life. I felt disoriented and not sure of where to go next. Thankfully, God showed me the way through a job I had. Not only that, but through my sister who convinced me to give college another go.

During my first semester at Freed-Hardeman, I did better than I ever had before. That showed me, that yes, I am capable of doing this. And then, this past semester while I didn't do as well as I would have liked, I know what went wrong and I'm determined to fix it. I know that I can do this, because I have done it before.

I say all this to bring this up: regrets, mistakes, they are all inevitable. We are human and prone to these things. I have made some really dumb decisions in my life, but there is nothing I can do about them now. Where they were just silly human mistakes, I learned from them. Where they were sinful in nature, I asked God for forgiveness, and learned from them. 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Life is way too short to have regrets looming over our heads; especially in regards to sin. If you've repented and asked God for forgiveness, we should find joy in that fact! Our God has redeemed us! (Eph. 2:8-9, Phil. 4:4.) 

The longer we allow regret to consume us, we won't be very useful to God in His kingdom. We will eventually bear no fruit, growth stunted by a 'why bother?' attitude (John 15.)  In the words of Elsa of Arendelle, it's time for us (and myself included) to...

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Walking With Jesus

I remember Kenny Chesney had a song some years back called "I Go Back". One line says, Every time I hear that song, I go back. For him, he says 'that song' is "Only the Good Die Young" because of a friend of his that passed away at a young age.

I think everyone has that one song. For me it is "More than a Feeling" by Boston. Oh, the memories that come back when I hear it. I go back to when I was still a little girl, listening as my Papa played all kinds of music.

He would sometimes put that song on repeat. Over time, I came to love it as well. It reminds me of how much he loved music and how good at it he was-a love he has passed on to Sarah and I.

My Papa was imperfect. He struggled with alcoholism and emotional issues. I can't say that my childhood was easy because of these things. Yet I remember despite his many shortcomings, is how much love he had for me and my sisters. I know that he loved us dearly.

I often remember the way he would laugh, or how his fingers would glide over a guitar with ease. I remember his amazing vocal range. I remember his love for nature. I remember when he worshiped God, his eyes would fill with passion and humility.

I was so young, but I remember.

I remember the bad, as vividly as I remember the good. Imperfect as he was, the good reminds me that he was made in the image of God. Imperfect as we all are, and no matter how badly we screw up, He still loves us.

If there is anything I have learned from these circumstances, it is of God's love. Despite the hardships our family faced, God has seen us through it. He eventually led us out of the fire, and into a better place; and for this, I am grateful. And, if and when more fires occur, I know he'll see us through those as well.

God never promised that this life would ever be easy. He never promised that bad things would never happen, but He promised to stay with us.

I am reminded by Romans 8:28, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."

And later on in this chapter, the Apostle Paul writes, "...in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (37-39)

If there is one thing we can remember, is that if we have given our hearts to God, He will walk with us. That is a comfort that can never be measured in words.