Friday, June 6, 2014

The Modesty Disconnect

It's a shame. There’s always that one girl-you know her- the one who complains about not being able to find a man who respects her. Then, you turn around and see her Tweets and Status updates, and the posts are sexually suggestive. The photos of themselves display “come hither” glances and poses.

And they just can’t figure out why they can’t find a good, respectable, well-mannered man.

I’m going to admit, I have little dating experience, and I recently got out of my first relationship. I haven’t had men knocking down my door (not that I’d want them to-an introvert can only handle so much). Here’s the thing: I could have that much attention if I wanted to. If I posted suggestive statuses and photos, I most likely could get more guys to pay attention to me. It would be all too easy.

But yet, it’s not the kind of attention that would lead to me to meeting the kind of man I want. The truth is, many of the good guys are going to get pushed away by posts like that. They want women who actually seem to value themselves. The guys who just want sex are going to be the ones coming after you. It’s true that you attract what you put out.

I don’t post stuff like that because I want others to see me as a person, not a sex object. I want a man to see me as a potential help-meet. So many women complain about why they should have to behave or dress modestly. Here’s the thing: modesty and decency is a humble way of demanding respect. The way you dress and act speaks volumes to others on how they should treat you.

God asks of us as women to be modest, moral, gentle, and humble (1 Timothy 2:9-11, 1 Peter 3:3-4). We know how much different this is from how women are told to act today.  Don’t lose heart if you are striving to live this way. You will be ridiculed and made fun of by other women, yes (and maybe even a few men) but God is happy with you, and you should find comfort in that.

Sure, men might not be knocking down your door, but who wants that? What woman wants a bunch of men treating her like she’s the next big thing to sleep with? I’d rather attract guys who will love me because I’m striving to be a woman of God. First, our aim is to please God (Acts 5:29). If that is your aim, you’ll most likely end up attracting the same kind of people with the same goal. They may be far and few between, but you may end up with more quality people than quantity to choose from. The best man for you is going to love you for your Godliness and good heart.

If you are still single and waiting, it’s okay. I am too. There are a lot of us waiting. Whether you find someone you want to marry or not, remember that you are God’s daughter. His love is infinitely better than anything else in this world (John 3:16, 1 John 4:9-10). Sometimes, it can be hard to remember that, especially when our society puts such an emphasis on romantic love. Never forget that there are more important things than romance. God’s work is of much more importance.

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